There’s a quiet grief that many mothers and new parents carry.
It is a story that, like a lot of fears and concerns, doesn’t always get shared or talked about—not in prenatal classes or midwifery appointments, not by other health care providers, not in baby books, and often not even with friends or family.
It’s the feeling that somewhere along the way… you disappeared.
You were once someone with space to think, to create, to play, to rest. Someone who could finish a cup of coffee while it was still hot. Someone who recognized themselves in the mirror—not just by their reflection, but by their spirit.
Now, your days are consumed by tending, holding, responding. Your roles, responsibilities and relationships have changed. Your own needs and wants feel faraway and like an afterthought—even to yourself.
And yet… no one warned you that joy and invisibility could coexist. That you could adore your child and still mourn the person you used to be.
Please know that you are not failing. You are not doing this wrong. You are not alone.
This feeling—that motherhood, parenthood, has eclipsed your sense of self and confidence in identity and values—is more common than we often admit. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your child or are failing at parenting.
It means you’re human.
Motherhood, parenthood, doesn’t have to mean erasure. You still get to be you.
Even now. Especially now.
In therapy, there’s room to explore all of this. To unpack and untangle the complex identity shifts and feelings that come with the changing roles and responsibilities of parenting. To grieve, to rediscover, and—slowly—to reclaim parts of yourself you thought were lost.
Please contact Kimberley Orton or any of our Mental Health Practitioners for a free 15-minute meet and greet consultation to see how we might work together toward improving and restoring feelings of balance, wellbeing, and acceptance. Your story matters.
